Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Gas prices next summer, or with me screwing around with local gas station (probably both).

On the minus side the naughty maids I found on Craig’s List looked like this, on the plus side they had reasonable rates and really cleaned behind everything they could squeeze into.

Somehow I thought Japanese bondage was going to be more exciting, but in real life things are normally not as good as advertised.

I’m in love, she can do the laundry, stretch like this, and is hot – she can have my house.

Rainbows have a short shelf life and wind up just filling up landfills pretty quickly.

Mommy where do little trucks come from?

Richard from move the markets is into whoring himself online, music and illegal firearms.

My new tennis teacher is pretty weird but he did really improve my backhand.

Ninjas never see the mantraps coming.

Paris Hilton gave her new dog hepatitis.

The professor from Futurama pictured on the freeway driving home from a long day of filming.

Not all seniors want to live forever, some live life on the edge – we salute you adventure senior.

I’ve never envied a road pylon before…

True, but at least her husband didn’t leave her for some black guy.

Things are really, really weird at George Lucas’ ranch.

WIth a guy doing this it would just look weird, sadly with a hot girl my man brain really likes this picture.

The Air Force is facing some real budget cutbacks and won’t be able to replace all of their F-15′s with comparable equipment.

Tank driver saw one too many hippy bumper stickers.

Still more realistic than the teddy bears attacking from Return of the Jedi.

She had a great personality even back then, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne photographed in 1974.

Nothing funny about this picture aside from how badly I wish I was there.

Doggies favorite chew toy, still won’t recoup the millions the Falcons lost on Vick.

Christina Aguilera is just a puppet for the record industry, literally – some fat chick named Roberta actually sings all of her stuff and you can’t even see her lips move.