Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

After years of taunting, and inspired by that tiger from the San Francisco zoo the Legoland Legos fatally assaulted Cynthia Rogers, 28.

Officers this man stole my eyesight, and overcharged me for fixing my toilet.

OMG they found fluffums.

Sure she looks confused and or under the influence of psychotic medication, but I’m still checking her for underwear cleavage.

After three years on the short bicycle bus it’s off to go work for Dell customer support.

I take that as a challenge.

Can I get the Jodie Foster cut please?

No more jogging across the street for me.

Illegal immigration is not just a problem for the economy it’s making our roads unsafe.

When will white boxers stop trying to beat black boxers?

Cameron Diaz on the set of My Sister’s Keeper quietly yearns to star in the sequel to Coneheads.

Mommy is this where Daddy’s best friend Jimmy’s baby is sleeping?

Actually a commercial for Wheat Thins.

Foster’s it’s Australian for top-heavy nearly over the hill twins.

This earned me a lifetime ban to the San Antonio Zoo.

Venice on ecstacy doesn’t smell like sewer water.

I support a carefully regulated hunting season for homeless people.

United Nations enforcer.

Target acquired, aiming, I have fired prematurely.

After six years of eating nothing but genetically engineered fish I’m feeling great!

Sadly my moped is only getting 8 miles a gallon.

My girlfriend and I drill twice a month for zombies.