Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

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The Bundy family wasn’t just something that I wanted my family to be more like, it was what I thought my family could attain with a lot of hard work. I would have gone after my sister because Kelly Bundy was hot, but Laura Bell Bundy has her beat, which means that I now have a new family to idolize. Continue Reading »

I know that there are some American Idol freaks that believe that Simon is mean and that all the contestants are hard working, deserving people. I’m here to tell you that there’s a lot that the people don’t know. Kelly Clarkson should look at Miley Cyrus and let her know what her baby fat future is going to look like. Continue Reading »

Without sounding too gay, I’ve watched nearly anything with Katherine Heigl in it. Though I couldn’t stand the talking in Grey’s Anatomy, I was still watching all of her scenes. Eventually I heard about Knocked Up and watched that movie enough times to know that Hegl is not nude in any part of it. Continue Reading »

Jill Hennessy married a bartender. A bartender. See, there’s sometimes good that comes from using roofies or Aqua Dots. I was reading the Wiki page on Jill Hennessy and learned something that I was totally unaware of, as I’m sure you will be too. Hennessy does not speak English! Hennessy is multi-lingual, being able to speak Italian, French, Spanish and German.” Continue Reading »

When you’re hot in England, there’s a chance that the USA will import you. Not so for Jenny Frost yet, but there’s always hope. I’m hoping for a threesome with Jessica Biel and anyone, so keep hoping Jenny, I’m sure it’s going to happen for you soon. Continue Reading »

When I was in high school there was a girl that I had the biggest crush on. Later in life our paths crossed and she looked incredibly like Hilary Swank, only she didn’t have that annoying personality that made me want to punch her in the face repeatedly. Umm.. Never mind that last statement. Continue Reading »