Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Re-zoning the neighboring farming town for brothels means that I take a walk around there every morning, after-work, and weekend – which has made me lose 10 pounds and 17 grand in the last month.

Finally after two hundred and forty-seven sports they finally added an olympic sport I can compete in!

The latest super hero cartoons are really starting to creep my out.

Great, now everywhere has a non-smoking area.

Now I couldn’t even down this sandwich.

I’d hump that rock.

I looked over and sadly her’s was a whole lot bigger than mine.

She couldn’t wait to get a hold of his nuts.

With unlimited free-time courtesy of socialism and legalized drugs the Dutch really don’t accomplish much anymore.

Those Mexican beavers will work for peanuts but have no concern for safety in the workplace.

The next Tron movie is going with a much smaller budget, but much stronger spandex.

McCain has solved his forgetting things problem by hiring Dave Schmidt who is not just a great speech writer, but a contortionist midget with a quick whit.

I have some serious doubts about Calvin Klein’s new 100% environmentally friendly line of clothing.

Still this scene makes more sense than The Happening from M. Night Shyamalan.

This is still way less retarded and more plausible than the Speed Racer movie.

Olympic child labor laws are not enforced in Beijing.

We ran out of sunglasses and started selling 3D glasses at the beach this summer.

The easiest way to identify male snakes.

Sure any guy will immediately start hitting on this girl and saying how much they like her pink goat – we’d try anything to milk the two of them.

This airline did fine until the men found out a woman was flying the airplane then beheaded her with a gold plated knife before crashing.

That’s the only way I would ever drink light beer.