Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Scientists have determined through DNA testing that Larry King is one-quarter Velociraptor.

Like the machine guns that shoot through propellors timing is key to the double scissors move.

Two years of meth have taken their toll on Britney.

The Ninjas on Ice musical opened up their season by filleting the cast from Nemo on Ice.

The picture of my new girlfriend on the internet was all great until I saw the eggs and bacon down lower.

The Russian embassy truck parked on the Georgian ambassador’s car in New York and left a note apologizing saying he would move sometime soon.

My first doll.

Ghetto kitty.

I’m all about nerd bling.

I fixed my wife’s car - you don’t think she’ll notice? Pretty sure I can blame it on Jiffy Lube, those guys are idiots.

I will never pick on the janitor here at work, he makes the one on Scrubs seem like a nun.

Except this one - she’s sick of all the child molestor jokes.

After two days of meth things can get a little freaky.

You pick is the makeup sillier or the banana hat she’s wearing?

The cast from the next Matrix film.

Affirmative action at work (sort of).

In some third world countries if you fall down you’re lunch.

The next transformers movie promises a love scene.

In the next comic book movie Superman and the Incredible Hulk hit some rough times and drive in a VW bus to see their family just like in Little Miss Sunshine.

I don’t know about you but I think this latest season of Teletubbies is just too gay for kids.

Communist graffiti

She’s so cheating by marking those cards.

The Japanese Olympic wrestling team was also marking cards apparently.