Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

With a ban on gays in the military the San Fransisco component of the National Guard has really been scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Chip & Dalien a kids version of the popular Alien movie series was to focus on the adorable little Alien half-breeds, but the project was scrapped and the movie was never made.

Edible bras are not just good for the environment but they are edible and watermelon can reduce cholesterol.

As it turns out I do not have super powers and my outfit was not bullet proof. I am recovering nicely from three stab wounds and a bullet to the abdomen. Next year I will skip the attempt to check green cards in public parks dressed as Border Man defender of national sovereignty.

This year’s nerd convention took a turn for the dark side when Anthony (third row second from the right) nearly strangled a security guard who “claimed” he didn’t have the plans for the death star.

The scene was a little chaotic when I locked the door and exposed myself at my surprise birthday party assuming that it was an impromptu orgy.

This cape doesn’t make me look gay does it?

You’d think the ghetto would be a good place to recruit for NASCAR tire changing crews.

Ironically Mushteen Akbar who was working at Disneyland as Jaffar from Aladdin was picked up on immigration charges and is being investigated for ties to radical islamic groups by the FBI. The arrest could have been handled more professionally and children were seeing crying as it happened during the 3PM parade down Main Street.

Photographic evidence Mexican migrant workers have migrated to Europe.

Bring your daughter to work day at pimp my ride resulted in tragedy when in what should have been a totally survivable fender bender cost the life of Tre Lover.

You can take the stripper out of the club, but you can’t take the stripper out of the girl.

Fed up with thieves constantly stealing his car this bulldozer operator blocks his car in with cement barricades when he parks now.

Garfield is the shizzle.

Robert Rodriguez is currently filming his latest zombie movie parachuting zombies.

In Afghanistan homosexual-ish activity is potentially deadly in many ways.

A shortage of spare parts for their aging car fleet and a swelling population Cuba has turned to alternative fuels that are the envy of the first world.

My stroller broke and I got sick of carrying my kid, who is half Asian which I have never understood – I’m white and so is my girlfriend.

Virginia member of the Retard Empire.

Water boarding can be sexy.

Baheir Mugammad won the world championship of staring contests this year in Beijing in no small part to the fact that his surrong doesn’t really cover everything when he stands up.