Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Investigators from the National Transportation Bureau have focused their investigation on this picture taken just seconds before the fatal Metrolink accident last week.

I had to break up with my latest internet girlfriend when I found out that all of her Facebook pictures were from her sub-300 pound days.

Nigerian spammers photographed seconds before a mass emailing carrying out an age old voodoo like ritual that is said to bring good luck.

I am waiting for the generation 5 iPhone before upgrading my rock.

My best friend Michael went out the way he wanted traveling around the world with a hot chick when he met a cannibalistic supermodel.

Morning light brought me a bill roughly the size of a new car at three grand an hour.

Mike Rowe walked off the show Dirty Jobs shortly after this was filmed in Malaysia.

300 lost all of it’s magic when I saw the behind the scenes out takes before the special effects were added.

Chicken soccer is still way more entertaining then professional soccer with perpetually injured David Beckham.

The documentary “In Da Shnizzel” traced the roots of gangster rap to this tribe in Western Africa.

High altitude diving frequently causes facial decompression gestures like this one.

It may have cost me eleven grand but living out my lifelong furry fantasy was worth every penny.

My zero carbon footprint bicycle is made entirely of wood, assembled by hand and handles remarkably well for weighing just under three hundred pounds.

Darth Vader was furious when he found out his new girlfriend was named Steve under all that.

I may have been banned for life from Channel 2 News but this screen capture makes it so worth it.

Special effects crews filming the birth scene from Transformers 2, where Optimus Prime’s drunken weekend in Tijuana results in the birth of Sub-Prime (the bastard Autobot).

Economists have illustrated how it will feel paying off a trillion dollars to bail out banks that couldn’t say no.

Sandra Torres found out the hard way that competition urinating will continue to be a male dominated sport.

This enforces so many stereotypes I don’t know where to begin.

Camel power insulate against high gas prices, are a zero emission source of transportation and keep a lonely Arab company on a cold desert night.

Britney Spears turned over her babysitting duties to her drunk gardeners who the judge agreed were still far more responsible than she was.

I just got an amazing deal on a used Ford Bronco in Galveston yesterday.