Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Even Legos are going to hell, they would have never made a set like this when I was a kid.

Retard Media is a grammar-free-zone.

Barbie has a new teen doll warning about the dangers of un-protected intercourse, they are selling this one and a herpes doll just in time for Christmas.

My breakfast can stand on it’s own before it plugs my arteries closed.

I support donuts, but refuse even one penny to either corrupt political party.

I had a few atheists come to my door yesterday, but I could tell they really didn’t believe in what they were doing.

Someone has stolen the retard-mobile, anyone with information about the theft is asked to contact retardempire.

My Ironman costume comes in a woman’s version.

I put a no-urinatiing sign in the alley behind where I work.

My personal guitar hero.

Now that is a high-definition television.

This table was recently auctioned off from the Michael Jackson estate – apparently he kept the keys to his room that he would lock from the inside in this table.

I splurged and got myself a birthday present.

To reduce violence and aggression in the Olympics wrestling matches now begin with a two-minute slow song.

Farid Muhammad Azir of Pakistan won the race but was stoned to death for hugging her coach after the surprise victory.

I purchased a surplus vehicle from an contractor who worked in Iraq and now feel safe driving around the bad parts of Dallas.

Believe it or not I got a speeding ticket after the last hurricane in Texas.

At first we all thought she was sleeping until that black bird started picking at her eyes and she didn’t move.

I am so keeping my weird uncle Steve away from my Christmas angel this year.

This year’s first international chair races ended with a trip to the emergency room for Dan.

My neighbors liked to party but I left after Jeff took his pants off and started kissing his mother in law.

Backstage Disneyland Paris.