Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

I humped a vending machine after it cost me 75 cents and wouldn’t give me my skittles.

Beware of man-eating ambulances.

I told my new Russian bride to stroke her pussy on her webcam and to be rough with it but fell sorry for the poor little guy afterwards.

Dealing with gas prices nearly doubling in the last couple of years Winnebago is planning much smaller campers for 2010 – here is a sneak peek at their all new camper.

I regret telling my ex-girlfriend how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.

To be handicapped please use stairs on the left.

My Honda Civic didn’t fare well doing Dukes of Hazard moves in the company parking lot.

According to political insiders McCain threw the last debate after being threatened with a beat-down by Obama just days before.

My waitress may have drowned thank God my beer survived.

I don’t know about you but I’d run scruffy over for an hour alone with that.

Small children area life saver if attacked by a mountain lion, their thirty or so pounds of meat will feed the lion long enough for you to escape.

Target acquired – check.
Mouth full of vomit – check.
Leave cart in grocery store due to loss of appetite saving $76.43 – check.

Our family trips to the beach always ended with one of us kids dragging dad back to shore after drinking too much and threatening the lifeguards. Memories…

Sadly team leader Charles Rogers of the Harlam Globetrotters broke his neck shortly after this picture was taken, leading to the first victory for the Washington Generals in team history.

That’s not beer.

Today’s forecast is scattered beatings, subjugation of women with a 20% chance of stoning.

This illustration offers clues about the next season of Lost, according to the rumor John Locke who recovered from being in a wheelchair in the first season has a gender operation after being kicked in the nuts.

Pimp my ride modified this train for bouncing with mixed results.

I have since been banned from Sombras Night Club, although on the plus side I did get three dollar bills and one phone number (although it turned out to be fake).

This week on the Sci-Fi Channel’s movie of the week Falajinin, asmall village in Malaysia is attacked when this giant baby snake’s mother takes her vengeance on them.

What seemed like a great shortcut turned out to be my last day of trucking, which is cool my new job at Burger King has all the free food I can eat without getting caught.