Retarded tour of the world wide web in pictures complete with retarded commentary.

Joe the plumber lost it on a vacation to Japan when he found out about how high his taxes would be if he was a millionaire in Japan.

That chick is a total dog.

Claiming I had a million shares of a major stock got me this stripper to go home with me and wanted to marry me before she found out it I had everything in Shearson Lehman Brothers.

I still tried to hook up with the one in the orange shirt even though I caught her in the men’s bathroom and found out her’s was bigger than mine.

Struggling thousand dollar a night Swiss hotels have a new anything goes policy to keep their rooms filled.

I complete disagree with this misguided woman and am strangling one right now while I look at her.

My new dating strategy is working out unbelievably well.

I’d like a bite out of that.

Wow, so they do have twinkies in China.

Sadly my experiments with zero-carbon flight only served to make me the subject of even more internet ridicule than normal.

Thrifty Southwest Airline passengers can save up to 80% flying on their new ‘Tweener’ class.

Sadly Tobey Maguire has put on so much weight that production for the new Spiderman has been delayed for ten months while he undergoes gastric bypass surgery.

Sadly because of cutbacks to schools in the Middle East terrorists can’t read.

Red Woodchuck to Black Squirrel quit taking pictures of nuts and get me some bush before I scrub this mission.

This unused Microsoft campaign ‘Where do you want to go before you pass out and urinate on yourself’ is still better than that Seinfeld crap.

Former child star Kaycee Grindstaff struggled to find work after a three year run on Barney and was forced into some very bad things.

The same is also true for former child star Wil Wheaton who starred on Star Trek the Next Generation.

I found out too late there were no breaks on my cruise ship this summer and apparently have some kind of lifetime ban from tours of the bridge.

This week on ESPN7 toddler tossing (and not the catholic priest version you sickos).

I like the new Dodge Challenger to but that’s just weird.

Apparently off roading in construction equipment is not covered under my auto insurance policy.

I don’t care what he calls himself now, I will always call him Hector.