Today’s retard tour of the web in pictures with retarded commentaryisms.

I can’t hear you, you’re rack is too loud.

You don’t start out this awesome – it takes practice.

Well practiced on the casting couch.

My last remaining dog swims a lot faster with my alligator Elvis living in the pool.

AT&T – more bars in more places.

I don’t know about the owner but the car qualifies for parking there.

Like her bathing suit I now have a heart on.

I thought a rodeo was wear you mounted a fat chick, told her how fat and ugly she was and then counted how long you could stay in.

I am cat sitting for my girlfriend this week.

Just an observation, but most asian women don’t get this big in their native countries.

Retard tested, retard approved.

Hmm. I have decided not to comment on this or the average amount of cash given for children for welfare programs.

My family camping.

I loved my birthday cake, but it did have a lot of hairs in it.

Make a wish.

The recession of 2008 was too much for the wall street mascot who jumped to his own death this morning.

Apparently not all unmarried asian women are interested in mail order bride arrangements.

Fortunately there are some domestic models still available – Detroit can really make them.

For this reason I never carry change.

He had a six pack before he drank the other three.