Today’s retard tour of the web in pictures with retarded commentaryisms.

My sister said that I should have a pet that is as beautiful as I am on the inside and the out.

Nothing gets a lot of attention like throwing M80 fireworks at the police as they go through practice drills.

Sometimes I just chill in my bed and enjoy my home made laptop.

When my 6-year old neice isn’t playing with her Barbie dolls, I consider myself quite the chick magnet.

I was told that there was a dress code at the new school but not sure why everyone laughed at me…

My uncle called me over for a game but when I arrived he just kept breathing heavy and trying to pet me.

When you grow up in the south, you know how to hold a gun before you can even spell the word G-N-U.

My parents bought me the C3PO cutout that I always wanted, now I get to sleep with it all the time.

This guy keeps insisting that the tires are low while I believe the bike is just too high.

The bathtub that I use to float around in is huge!

When a new video game comes out, sales of Mountain Dew and Doritos always skyrocket.

This balloon reminds me of my gramma… except for the stretch marks that get pushed outward with the helium.

This man insists that he’s not free even if he sometimes does give-it-away.

I almost lost my virginity… I was confused more about being with a ginger than the ginger being a clown.

Sometimes the vegetable selection at the local super market will be enough to dress for Halloween.

This kid shouldn’t have to feed himself, he should be royalty, he should be fed by only worthy minions.

You might see me biking through the city streets, or stopping in the intersection like a moron.

My mom was hard core, even when she was young. Of course, my dad looked a little feathery in this picture, but that’s Dad!

The Asian family I babysit for says that they want their kid to grow to be as tall as an American, so I started helping out.

All the girls like to pet me but none of them take me serious.