Retard Media » Cars

Classic old Ford is an old Ford

Michael — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 21:41:29 +0000

While driving down some nicer streets on a trip across America a classic and old looking Ford came puttering up the street. The car drew the attention of many people because the car was clean, it was convertible, the sun was shining, and the car just looked cool.

After a short conversation with the owner (and her husband) I learned the car is something taken out on special occasions, like having fuel and nothing better to do.

Car from Ghostbusters

jerome — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:48:40 +0000

These guys built their own car from Ghostbusters – kinda funny the old ambulances were also used as hearses, guess that would save time.

The BMW that you will never drive in the U.S.A.

Michael — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:37:10 +0000

BMW has the M5 that all the guys want to own (well, at least those of us with two testicles that have descended). The BMW M5 comes in a ~~wagon~~ Touring version for around $130,000, but only if you live outside of the United States of America. Why won’t BMW bring the M5 Touring over to the USA? ‘Cause they’re bitches.

Here are the man-wagons that belong in the USA, where real men would be able to drive them: Audi RS6, BMW M5 Touring, Alpina B5S Touring & MB E63 AMG.

Download high resolution pictures of BMW M5 Touring

I have a race car bed

Michael — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:20:32 +0000

NASCAR drivers are whimps. They’re protected by some flimsy sheet metal, but the formula drivers that stick their head out of the cars are the real men of racing. I would drive one of those cars (if someone were stupid enough to let me).

Download high resolution pictures of race cars

Getting into a Corvette

Michael — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:45:26 +0000

Alright, now I only drive my 1974 Pinto to work and back so I’m not a car expert (though my parents keep buying me 1974 Pintos with targets painted on the back), but it seems that the Chevy Corvette isn’t getting a compliment from the n2a lowrider modifications.

Car accident increases traffic

socalzoner — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 01:56:59 +0000

I find it pretty damn rude that a car would get into an accident before I get close enough to take pictures but not too soon that causes me to wait in traffic. Very, very irresponsible. Do you have insurance?

Parent’s money + retard kid = abused Porsche Cayenne

Michael — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 22:05:59 +0000

In what I can only assume as a giant mistake made by hands-off parents and their unwillingness to watch where their money goes, welcome to the worst abomination Porsche ever incurred.

I’m not a Porsche owner (I can’t even spell Porcha sometimes) but if I were I would find this retard and beat the rainbow colors out of their head with my tire-iron.

Aston Martin V8 Vantage N400 roadster

Michael — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:30:19 +0000

Like its closed coupe brother, the N400 Roadster features an upgraded version of the Vantage V8′s 4.3L engine producing 400 HP and 309 lb-ft of torque. I’m sure the models will flock to the car, so there is not one included with it.That’s a full 20 horsepower more than what’s included in a standard Vantage V8 thanks to a thorough overhaul of the engine’s internal components and the addition of a freer flowing exhaust and air intake. Other N400 enhancements include a Sport Pack that dials down the suspension for sharper handling, as well as new side sills, trunk lid, clear rear lamp lenses, mesh for the side strakes and a “bright finish grille”.

Roush 600 RE worth less than a used Kia

Michael — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:30:13 +0000

Just the third in a series of only ten ever to be built, the unfortunate Ford GT Roush 600 RE you will see below only saw three days of use before its untimely death. A new example is shown first for reference. The hyper-limited edition 612bhp beast wasn’t even broken in yet, with only 512mi (819km) on the odometer. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the ten cars picked to become Roush 600 REs were the last ten Ford GTs to roll off the production line – ever.

The engine and transmission might be alright, but really there is no way to tell without powering up and chances are this car isn’t going to power in its current condition. The car was for sale on eBay, but some reason the sale was for a parts lot (the seller claimed a requirement to keep the chassis) that failed to go at auction on eBay with a bid of just $1,040, so it’s likely the best of the remaining bits and pieces are still available.

So the question is who can do a better job at turning a limited edition (3 of 10) $150,000+ dollar car into scrap, a retard woman or retard man?

If the owner is visiting the site, here’s what your car probably sounded like when it ran:

Rolls Royce Phantom in black

socalzoner — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 17:54:24 +0000

There will be about 10,000 Rolls Royce Phantoms built and then people will have to find something better to do with their $300,000 I guess. The body guard following the Rolls seemed upset about the picture taking, sorry Mustafa.

This picture wasn’t taken by me, though I wish that I had been there for this shoot.

What’s that car creeping up on me that I see in my side view mirror?

Wow, a Rolls Royce Phantom in black.. I have one of those too!

This car looks heavy, is heavy, and probably is worth more than my life.

Interesting grill. Very Rolls Royce like with the large grill and flat front.

The wheels seem to have weighted center caps to keep the “RR” from turning.

Suicide doors are something unique that hasn’t been seen since the TV show Entourage.

The rear of the car isn’t as impressive as the front (unlike the girl in the first picture).

The tail lights are pretty unimpressive.

At least remove the dealer’s frame and put something else, like “I BUY AND SELL SLAVES”.

This was the bodyguard who pointed as if to say “stop taking pictures” or just “grunt, grrrr”.