54-year-old Steven Putman was ticketed for drunk driving on a New York Interstate.

58-year-old Steve Wozniak co-founder of Apple who no longer gets residuals from his former company was drunk and become despondent at the WWDC urinating everywhere while riding on his segway personal transporter.

Writing asinine commentary and charts actually does take less talent than filming adult movies (and makes less money).

I still think Borat was sexier.

You’d think she’d have trouble not tipping over.

Retard persistence.

I cropped out the bad part, trust me.

Toyota Prius vs anything not made of wood.

The one on the left is a guy.

This violates three or four of the top ten tattoo mistakes.

Forget NASCAR and NBA my big screen 22 inch is glued on ESPN15 the Redneck.

How I got shot.

Grandpa is in the yard again playing World War 2 again grandma.

My family tailgating.

Living in public housing does make kids pretty resilient.

I didn’t even want my car back after seeing this.

All chicks have at least one flaw.

David Carradine photographed moments before his death in Thailand.

Is that considered Ice T-bagging?

Boy I’d love to dunk in that.

KISS – 1975.

Gene Simmons from KISS

Gene Simmons – SIDE

Paul Stanley from KISS

Paul Stanley – SIDE

Paul Stanley – BACK

Ace Frehley from KISS

Ace Frehley – SIDE

Ace Frehley – BACK

Peter Criss from KISS

Peter Criss – SIDE

Peter Criss – BACK

Peter Criss’s Drum Kit from KISS

See more of Jonathan Gilbert’s amazing creations – he does lots of custom figures you can purchase from him.

I can’t hear you, you’re rack is too loud.

You don’t start out this awesome – it takes practice.

Well practiced on the casting couch.

My last remaining dog swims a lot faster with my alligator Elvis living in the pool.

AT&T – more bars in more places.

I don’t know about the owner but the car qualifies for parking there.

Like her bathing suit I now have a heart on.

I thought a rodeo was wear you mounted a fat chick, told her how fat and ugly she was and then counted how long you could stay in.

I am cat sitting for my girlfriend this week.

Just an observation, but most asian women don’t get this big in their native countries.

Retard tested, retard approved.

Hmm. I have decided not to comment on this or the average amount of cash given for children for welfare programs.

My family camping.

I loved my birthday cake, but it did have a lot of hairs in it.

Make a wish.

The recession of 2008 was too much for the wall street mascot who jumped to his own death this morning.

Apparently not all unmarried asian women are interested in mail order bride arrangements.

Fortunately there are some domestic models still available – Detroit can really make them.

For this reason I never carry change.

He had a six pack before he drank the other three.

Pre steroid abuse.

Getting scared I’d be locked up with her.

Full scale scary mode.

Wow, look at the guns on her.

Six months later.

Like Oprah Winfrey on an airplane he’s oozing into both seats.

Statue rape is an unreported crime.

One ferry that should be illegal in a Muslim country.

I would like to squeeze into her.

Richard Petty, Nascar racing legend died in his sleep.

One taxi that can actually pass rigid emission standards for 2016.

“Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support. My name is Richard and my rep ID number is 7462.1 How may I assist you today?”

The American financial crisis has forced cut backs in equipping the Iraqi army.

Hojin Wi believed he was being followed by evil spirits as he crossed the bridge driving serpentine to confuse them.

My weekend just kept getting worse.

David Stern, the NBA commissioner has get creative in order to maintain a league diversity goal of 2% white players.

New Emission Standard Will Save 1.8 Billion Barrels of Oil by 2016, but will make taking home new appliances a death defying act.

Redneck rider mower.

Knut the adorable polar bear cub in Berlin that grew up in the spotlight, and sadly couldn’t take it anymore choosing to end his own life seen here.

She was worth all 350 roses I gave her.

Learning to type was over 4,200 calories.

The only way the third world can match new emission standards from Europe and America.

The ewoks were one thing but multi-racial wookies in the new Star Wars are just insane.

The hangar bay.

Raptor being maintained.

Raptor side view.

Front view of Raptor.

Hangar bay with ships.

Cylon Raider.

Mark II Viper.

Mark VII Viper.

Mark VII Viper, front view.

Mark VII Viper, side view.

Commander Adama.

President Roslin.

Baltar.

Apollo.

Starbuck.

Colonial Marines.

Col. Tigh.

Tyrol.

Boomer.

Six.

More from this amazing creator 2×4.

In Spock we trust.

Figure 15-1 illustrates the American taxpayer dealing with pork spending.

This website’s choir finished last in China’s version of American Idol.

She’s pullin’ on her’s and I’m pullin’ on mine.

Signs fix everything.

Teaching braille.

My new bar saves the senseless murder of perfectly good calories wasted walking to the bathroom.

My sister wasn’t amused I was taking her picture to begin with…

Even professionals didn’t care to see me expose my inner self.

Pippy Long Stalking ran out of child acting jobs and turned to stripping.

John Goodman isn’t aging well, but he’s now perfect for the new Adams Family movie.

I think I overpaid.

Sure the dog may have mauled seven year old Chad Hollingsly but based on the evidence a Dallas judge determined it was justified.

The road sign is broken handicapable.

God Bless capitalism, all I have to do is win the lottery and even I can get chicks.

Next season of Lost promises to target a more mature audience.

George Lucas has gone completely insane with his new cooking show on Food Network.

Ahh Mother’s Day.

Apparently watching the movie Transporter over and over to learn driving stunts from was a mistake.

The Pope quickly apologized for Catholic missionaries forcing the native leader’s women into clothing, avoiding casual sex and polygamy.

Isabeli Fontana

Hayden Panettiere

Giovanna Mezzogiorno

Freida Pinto

Evangeline Lilly

Emily Blunt

Dita Von Teese

Christina Applegate

Christina Aguilera

Carla Gugino

Carice Van Houten

Brittany Murphy

Amy Adams

Amanda Seyfried

Alice Eve

Alice Braga

Alexis Bledel

Alexa Davalos

Abbie Cornish

Claudia Schiffer

So telling my nephew that the bull was looking for revenge after he ate his mother in his happy meal wasn’t the best idea.

I agree with Miss California that it should be up to each state to ban soccer and I am personally against it – and I don’t care if Perez Hilton calls me names because of it.

The good news is my Uncle found water on his property in Alaska, the bad news is his relatives didn’t find out until weeks later.

USA #1, even if we did have to elect a black guy to cheat.

Sure I sold my house and cashed in my life savings for this boat and a year at lake Havasu but I’d do it again if I could.

I even dated this weird Japanese chick who thought I was a fashion photographer.

I am ready just in case the Eskimos find Oil and they need some ‘democracy’.

My happy place, minus the midget.

I love women, although I realize I can be replaced by a cucumber or a gym teacher.

Why can’t we just have a little racial profiling, anyone who won’t eat bacon needs to be strip searched at the airport.

She’s got some explaining to do with that kid.

37 beers and his friends convinced him he had super powers to pass through solid mass.

My modified Greenmobile has a 2 stroke 15HP engine and gets 85mpg and has a better crash safety rating than any car ever made in China.

I was a little off put when my uncle wanted to take me to my prom, but he was a great dancer.

Caution, retards at work.

I wonder what’s faker her rack, her tan or her gender.

With the recession, internet piracy, and sagging box office receipts Hollywood has been forced to slash movie budgets.

Beer ($4.00)
Insane body ($2,500)
Slutty I will kiss you down there look (priceless)

Apparently the tenants in the building next door are complaining about my camera I bought for bird watching.

Flush with cash the Chinese and unaccustomed to having large amounts of cash they are literally swimming in wealth.

NCAA women’s basketball fever – catch it or she will kill you.

That’s about right, one in ten of the American population is a gay man.

Barbie broke Ken’s heart, a few laws and that bra.

Beach goers in the Thailand have ingeniously adapted to a recent plague of shark attacks.

The local high school can no longer visit people in the old folks home thanks to my grandfather.

RZone has been experiencing some technical difficulties but we think we’ve got everything fixed now.

McDonalds has had to work even harder to keep it’s value meal under a dollar with rising costs.

10 to 1 it’s an Asian woman driver.

There is a reason hockey is dying as a sport.

Oh God I’m sorry I asked where Waldo was – when did he pull a Dumbledore?

With relaxed rules about declaring yourself a racial identity this girl got into Harvard.

OMG you thought the first Watchmen movie was bad wait until you see the sequel.

If the Yankees were allowed to continue steroid consumption this is how their shortstop would have looked this season.

Gembutu is a whore, he was riding my backside yesterday.

I like the fact he’s thinking about the future, and has already begun lifting weights for jail.

Heinken has teamed up with George Lucas to even further ruin the two good Star Wars films.

I quit riding my motorcycle because I ran out of leather.

Sadly I can no longer attend basketball games at my alma mater.

Hmm, they all do kinda look alike.

Top 10 reasons to ban Pokemon.