Some countries don’t have proper concrete for paving roads.

The cats on the bottom are a little slow to catch up with what’s worth watching.

Pretty sure my sister isn’t the virgin she pretends to be…

Nearly a perfect pushup, only Lou Ferrigno can do better.

I was kicked out of chorus for replacing Mozart with chopsticks.

My aunt looks like a walrus when she’s laughing.

Sometimes my desktop gets a little messy.

I didn’t see Abe write this but I heard it was just a few minutes before I arrived.

Less than the 1% of the 1% of the 2% care about this picture, but still are smart enough to know what it says.

My cake reminds me of my web surfing history.

Now I understand why MS Word always tries to correct my grammar.

When people ask me about my Facebook account, I send them this.

Even if I wasn’t on the Internet since the early 1990′s I still wouldn’t remember my first email address.

I’ve been looking all over for “c” but haven’t found any of them, I need 150 C or just 50 if I can make up my mind.

Randy Moss has his own reason to celebrate the Raider’s life.

I’m pretty sure that these girls are afraid of needles and hate art.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with her face but at least she’s distracting you from it, unlike the next girl…

Not even with two thumbs up and a 6-pack of Jager.

Maybe I shouldn’t have used the generic version of Cool Whip when convincing a girl to wear a whip cream bikini.

My finger was hurting so I decided to end it’s life.

Why do girls always try different camoflage to get away from me?

Recession hits hard and creativity grows, including dressing in $.08 recycled 2-liter bottles.

If Smurfs were meant to give you nightmares.

Wars are wars, even if it’s Star Wars.

My friends swear I look like my pet.

I gave up trying to make a turducken.

All heavy metal bands have similar logos.

The original Hannibal Lector just made people sexual instead of scared.

What is and what is not happening in this picture?
(dirt-like-substance around monitor, cat stretching, girl w/pants down, etc…)

This woman dresses like Angelina Jolie for Halloween.

I like the SpongeBob backpack (see more of the girl in this picture)

Even self-shot mirror pictures have product placement. Oxy?

Ever since I started stretching I’ve been much, much more flexible.

Why must good sunflowers die every year to this waste… take it off immediately!

I can’t find any more cabinet space, it’s time to upgrade my kitchen.

How to disable a woman seems like it might not be quite politically correct.

“Light police car on fire, check. Start stripping naked, check. Break out a tune on instrument while skipping away…”

This might not be the best way to settle the soda wars.

Sometimes it’s easier to eat some McDonalds when you’re sharing it with friends.

I’m almost finished filling my pool for the weekend of relaxation…

My cat practices kung fu and jujitsu so the neighborhood robots are no match.

What happened to being happy when a tree looks like a tree?

Who watches all this and just takes pictures?

I knew there was a sane and rational explanation for zebra colors.

This guy always makes his kids work while he enjoys relaxing.

When I die I’m hoping not to have anyone do this to me in my coffin.

Looks like someone stole the steering wheel from the other side.

I convinced this woman that “Lamborghini” is Italian for drive around naked.

I was too busy taking pictures of people having sex to have sex myself…

… but at least I got a couple good sex pictures.

Why a $2,000 boat looks better than a $150,000 Mercedes.

I didn’t know the Transformers were into photobombing.

The Chinese military train for all situations.

If these kids were in Los Angeles the table would be filled with food stamps.

Nobody understands my dad.

The women bring the beer until they start looking good enough to be taken home.

This is the original mastermind behind Unk’s Walk It Out.

This is a future disgruntled employee that’s ready to act.

This is the last time this boy was seen without being harassed for making the world’s worst face.

The product placement in Passion of The Christ is so subtle.

These aren’t the worst ads for cigarette smoking, but if you are on the fence and might want to quit, these might actually have the staying power to help alter a mindset or two.

Evil Knievel’s grand nephew Jeffrey was always a little slow.

The old retardmobile was stolen so we had to get a new one.

The only cooking I am OK with in the kitchen.

Driving your woman on a Saturday really sucks in the third world.

Needless to say my weird uncle Chris was let go after only one day as the choreographer for the local high school’s cheer team.

My career as an accupuncturist may have been short-lived but was not without it’s own reward.

Kosher and amphibious music making machine.

Nope, it tastes like whale not tuna.

The first guy was cool, the second one was just copying.

We all leave my niece Bethany Anna alone once she breaks out the hand puppets and starts mumbling to herself how they will kill us.

My sister in law heard the toilet seat was cleaner than the kitchen sink so she switched things around.

Public Service Announcement: Most 65-year-olds will be dead before their kid’s graduation.

The cool part is those are actually just high-tech sewing machines.

Still less stupid to worship than a politician.

She sounds cuter with the volume turned off.

Practicing for pedestrian polo (wheelchairs are double points).

My mind’s in the gutter.

As this demonstration proves, most pets will eat you if they are hungry enough.

Still more realistic than 3 foot teddy bears taking out the same stuff that wiped everyone out in the earlier film (Stupid Lucas)

Cats are picky eaters, this one is waiting for the wipe.

Megan Fox has sworn off public appearances after an overly enthusiastic greeting by several hundred sexually repressed teenagers at a recent comic book convention.

Sadly American dentists jut aren’t competitive with their new Chinese competitors.

With my internet connection down I had to make do without a functional webcam.

Saudi women were on alert in the event America had elected a women president, thankfully they would rather have a black man driving the country.

My new apartment has little in the way of creature comforts but allows me to focus more on what’s really important in life.

Street vendors in India have seen a huge drop in income ever since touch new laws protecting wild animals were enacted.

The White House gardeners have a pointed and some would say racist sense of humor.

Ahh she’s smiling at me.

Facing a huge jump in taxes and a slumping economy I have decided to stay at home and wait for my change.

Police are considering filing charges against Abe Whitney after his girlfriend broke her neck shortly after this picture was taken (Be forewarned: drilling two inch screws into the drywall is insufficient support for a stripper pole).

I am ready and I have my 401K cash withdrawn and ready to finance this undertaking.

Disco rocks.

Covering up America’s aging infrastructure one pylon and pothole at a time.

The fruitmobile.

Computer porn is disgusting.

Sakura Fukazumi has a 1.57 ERA proving there are some gay baseball players in Japan.

I have made the switch to non-alcoholic vodka and have been sober pretty much all of the last two days.

I am pretty sure those are both male gummy bears.

My niece really seemed to enjoy her costume for Halloween, although my sister is not returning my phone calls.

Doctors are lying bastards, they told me most viruses were caused by not washing with hot water and it didn’t help one bit.

I decided to help round up the shopping carts at my neighborhood supermarket.

Sadly Jessica Alvarez, back row center was shot and killed by hunters last Saturday when the Animal Totem Club of Waco Texas went on their annual picnic.

My new hat doesn’t make me look gay does it?

This chick and I have a lot in common.

Wow that guy’s actually eating pussy, I try to avoid that by ignoring my girlfriend’s needs and avoiding Korean restaurants.

My halloween pumpkin is not only scary it’s a cannibal.

I would like to the tail on that.

Peter Parker was an annoying child.

The Barrel O’Fun van wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be before the fire broke out.

I got handicapped plates for the parking and the chicks.

XXXL storm trooper.

My new female boss has made the company’s policy about surfing P0RN totally clear to me now.

George Michael’s new halloween costume has left many unsuspecting bathroom goers sore and humiliated.

The stadium was rocking, about 4.1 on the richter scale to be exact.

The new spiderman film is trying to barrow on the success of Heath Ledger’s crazy joker character by introducing Spidey’s evil twin the hard drinking Bert.

My local KFC did not appreciate my halloween costume in their drive through or later when I tried to liberate my compatriots from their kitchen.

If I beat up all the dorks in this picture can I have my choice of the women?

Ketanna Obama lies about herself almost as much as her cousin.

I decided to do a little posing for the ladies in today’s post.

Pajir Binijbouro, Intel’s senior vice president of customer support in India actually makes less than Raul Jiminez a janitor in the Dallas office.

The design team for Transformers 2 has officially run out of good ideas.

I think if you collected all the change from the fountain for a month you could probably afford an hour with the one on the right.

http://retardmedia.com/uploads/2008/10/

Johnny Depp had some very unusual and disruptive behavior on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean.

So apparently it’s not how many containers you can lift at the same time that makes a great crane operator.

My new health plan however unpleasant has resulted in losing almost twenty pounds in three weeks and fresher breath.

The stork giveth and taketh away.

Even the statues appreciated the show.

This is exactly how Steve Irwin died.

So what do you guys think of my new Halloween costume / toupee?

This picture is one roll of duct tape away from being the greatest picture of all time.

Grandpa Steve now has a lifetime ban from the Apple store in the mall.

Barry Bonds hasn’t been tested for steroids in a year and is ready to play baseball again.

Wall Street’s old bull market statue wasn’t quite descriptive enough of the direction the economy is going in.

Optical illusion: this woman actually has a pair of eyes.

The Korean police department is training for an impending midget invasion.

No caption I just liked the view.

Obama did not appreciate my grandmother’s advances.

Kenya’s world champion cross marathon runner Mobbera Baruktu felt singled out by the Salt Lake City Police Department who asked if he had paid for those cups of water he was drinking.

On the opposite end of the police brutality spectrum, Dutch Police are now actually required to serenade the homeless before questioning them.

I wasn’t arrested, I just paid extra for this.

In a surprising twist this year’s election will be decided on a special November 4th episode of Dancing with the Stars.

When squirrels attack.

The Indian Colgate wisdom tooth says “Please hold this call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.”

I wrote in the guy working at 7/11 instead.

Note to self: Just because I make rocket launcher noises while driving my work truck does not mean it’s an armored vehicle that can drive through walls.

Joe the plumber lost it on a vacation to Japan when he found out about how high his taxes would be if he was a millionaire in Japan.

That chick is a total dog.

Claiming I had a million shares of a major stock got me this stripper to go home with me and wanted to marry me before she found out it I had everything in Shearson Lehman Brothers.

I still tried to hook up with the one in the orange shirt even though I caught her in the men’s bathroom and found out her’s was bigger than mine.

Struggling thousand dollar a night Swiss hotels have a new anything goes policy to keep their rooms filled.

I complete disagree with this misguided woman and am strangling one right now while I look at her.

My new dating strategy is working out unbelievably well.

I’d like a bite out of that.

Wow, so they do have twinkies in China.

Sadly my experiments with zero-carbon flight only served to make me the subject of even more internet ridicule than normal.

Thrifty Southwest Airline passengers can save up to 80% flying on their new ‘Tweener’ class.

Sadly Tobey Maguire has put on so much weight that production for the new Spiderman has been delayed for ten months while he undergoes gastric bypass surgery.

Sadly because of cutbacks to schools in the Middle East terrorists can’t read.

Red Woodchuck to Black Squirrel quit taking pictures of nuts and get me some bush before I scrub this mission.

This unused Microsoft campaign ‘Where do you want to go before you pass out and urinate on yourself’ is still better than that Seinfeld crap.

Former child star Kaycee Grindstaff struggled to find work after a three year run on Barney and was forced into some very bad things.

The same is also true for former child star Wil Wheaton who starred on Star Trek the Next Generation.

I found out too late there were no breaks on my cruise ship this summer and apparently have some kind of lifetime ban from tours of the bridge.

This week on ESPN7 toddler tossing (and not the catholic priest version you sickos).

I like the new Dodge Challenger to but that’s just weird.

Apparently off roading in construction equipment is not covered under my auto insurance policy.

I don’t care what he calls himself now, I will always call him Hector.