Tara Guerrero is a model who has more than enough qualifications for me to stalk her with my Kodak (and by Kodak I mean my penis). Of course a model is most appreciated when computer geeks make wallpaper using her image. Continue Reading »

Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

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Shu Qi is best known for her Hong Kong career, where she posed for several nude magazines (I’ve never seen magazines that were dressed before) and did some soft core movies. Of course when you need the money, I guess it’s always best to use your best assets. Continue Reading »

There are only a few roles that have been able to accomodate Sela Ward, and since I’ve never heard of the TV show Sisters, that leaves me only The Fugitive to talk about her in. Sela is definitely a star though, you can tell from this photography session that she’s either going to be trying out for a new role or just wants to remember back when she was hot. Continue Reading »

Welcome Sayaka Ando, you are quite a special young lady. In Japan, Sayaka is paid to do anything she’s willing to in a bikini or leotard (ha ha… I said tard). In Japan there are groups of people that are willing to pay hot women to show off their body. Umm… I guess Japan isn’t really unique like that. I’m off to watch the exercise class at the local Y now. Continue Reading »

If you know much about Melissa Schuman you are either a stalker or a teeny-bopper, because Melissa is best known for being in a band called Dream, and that band isn’t touring with Thousand Foot Krutch. The good news is that she’s hot enough to get onto Retard Media! Good for you Melissa, this might be the highpoint in your career so far. Continue Reading »

Retarded tour of the web complete with retarded commentary.

Continue Reading »

The Bundy family wasn’t just something that I wanted my family to be more like, it was what I thought my family could attain with a lot of hard work. I would have gone after my sister because Kelly Bundy was hot, but Laura Bell Bundy has her beat, which means that I now have a new family to idolize. Continue Reading »

I know that there are some American Idol freaks that believe that Simon is mean and that all the contestants are hard working, deserving people. I’m here to tell you that there’s a lot that the people don’t know. Kelly Clarkson should look at Miley Cyrus and let her know what her baby fat future is going to look like. Continue Reading »

Without sounding too gay, I’ve watched nearly anything with Katherine Heigl in it. Though I couldn’t stand the talking in Grey’s Anatomy, I was still watching all of her scenes. Eventually I heard about Knocked Up and watched that movie enough times to know that Hegl is not nude in any part of it. Continue Reading »